So about this motherhood thing.
Do you realize that we do not get the tools we need?
No one prepares us.
No one gives us a manual.
No one considers our coping strategies or how that will contribute to our longevity.
This is a crappy return-on-investment protocol. There are husbands and/or pool boys that expect to get YEARS of wear out of us.
We start out like this:
Then in a few short years we are this:
No. This won’t do at all. I don’t care for myself in this state. I need something better.
I need a plan.
I need a…philosophy.
So I did some philosophy shopping.
Or, philososhopping, if you will.
I rejected a few. Sheenism was too manic. Pradaism too expensive, as was the Church of Choo and Blahnik. I briefly considered Gleeing, but I don’t have the wardrobe nor the falsetto. So I settled on a classic:
Yes. This will work. This is what I need.
Letting the stresses of the day glide off me like spring rain.
Yep. Check that out.
Spring rain, baby. Spring rain.
But only a little.
So, ok, showers can turn into squalls occasionally.
I’ll just breathe through it.
Yes. Breathe. Rain. Breathe. Rain.
I will spring the crap out of this rain.
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME YOU $%@&ING RAIN????
I’m nothing if not flexible.
If that didn’t work, we’ll just try something new.
I’ve found just the thing.