I believe I have removed any element of surprise with the title of the post, so for those of you hoping for suspense up until the final photo, I apologize. In addition to creating irrational rules about things and having the attention span of a hyperactive flea, I’m also pretty instant gratification.

So, when last we left Lori, she had pledged to clean and organize the office part of her home, as well as tame the fire-hazard of a snake infestation that lived under her desk. And a pledge is not to be undertaken lightly. It may not carry the mortal threat of an Unbreakable Vow, but, you know, it’s up there. Plus there was a nasty 20 point penalty to be levied if she failed. And given her absolute lack of anything lovely, crafty, creative or even sanitary in the house department, that was a threat she took seriously.

And now I will stop with the referring to myself in the third person. Although, it’s kind of fun. Makes me want a crown. And a sceptre. And a guillotine.

So, click here for the before photos. (But then come back.)

Alrighty then.

So here is a stunning photo of a clean desk.

I kept the cats away for this one.

Note the luster of the wood. I used Pledge. Yes I did. This is not a paid endorsement for Pledge. Pledge and its parent companies are not affiliated with me, my blog, my cats or any of my now lustrous wood products. This is me bragging about the fact that I have cleaning products. Real ones. With spray nozzles.

And here is a photo that shows under the desk. Note the HUGELY OBVIOUS absence of snakes.

The bag is actually what I'm using for a waste basket. It is NOT hiding snakes.

Himself was kind enough to stop by Best Buy and acquire for me the largest, scariest, most industrial looking power strip in the history of electricity. With this power strip, you can plug every appliance you own into one outlet, wire your home entertainment system, spy on your friends and neighbors via orbiting satellites and send heavily armed aircraft into the demilitarized zone of your choosing. So a little cable-and-cord snake wranglin’ was the equivalent of a fluffy cotton-candy treat for this piece of electronic wizardry.

Here is a picture of my…uhh..well, it’s a bookshelf, obviously, but I’m trying to think of a more “office-y” name for it. “Bookshelf” doesn’t have the professional, industrious, corporate-squash-you-like-a-bug flair I’m after. “Filing department.” That sounds much better. Here’s a picture of my filing department.

I considered the name "Tower of Minions," but I probably want to save that one for later.

And here’s a close-up of one particularly noteworthy corner of the “filing department.”

I'm giving myself an extra point for the file complimenting the wall color.

Ok..ok…YES, I own a labeler. YES, I asked for it as Christmas present. NO, I am not under the care of a physician. But when I say I am getting my Martha on, when I issue myself a challenge that caries a 20 point penalty, I mean serious business and if that means breaking out the labeler…ย then so be it.

“Your honor, the defendant, one Lori, a blogger, is accused of contributing to the delinquency of an office product wherein she willfully and with abandon rocked out to Christina Aguilera’sย ’Lady Marmelade’ in a manner more appropriate for a pole than a label-maker.”

Guilty as charged. Guilty guilty guilty. But I couldn’t help myself. The music just speaks to me. And my hips.

And when I said in an earlier post that I had Wonder Woman’s bracelet…

Hand-made. Just for me. I come from a long nerd-tradition.

…I wasn’t kidding.

And this photo, this is just so I can feel a little better about the fact that a picture of my unmade bed was on the WordPress Freshly Pressed Home Page for three days. And while there’s no way on earth I can ask all those people to swing back ’round these parts again to see what the bed looks like when it’s made, at least I can take some small comfort in SOMEONE seeing it.

I evicted the cats for this photo, too.

So…drum roll please…

Previous score: +11 points

  • For successfully completing my Martha Points Office Organizational Challenge: +10 points
  • For having files that offset the wall color in my bedroom home office: +1 point
  • For squeezing a blog entry, a hair appointment, work, locating Child A at a random high-school where he’d been abandoned after a music event, making dinner for four kids, going out for cocktails and munchies with one of my closest friends and two loads of laundry into one day without screaming, shrieking or brandishing weapons: +5 points

But for this being the state of my bedroom chair AGAIN:

Honest to goodness, I think there's a laundry magnet IN the cushions.

-3 points.

Which brings my new score up to: +24 points

And I am very carefully, very purposefully, with much humbleness, not saying ONE word about coasting, gliding, sliding, skating or any verb of any kind that does not suggest my full ready, willing and able attitude towards a rigorous and dedicated pursuit of Martha Points.

‘Cause the universe is out there with its karmic willow switch and I want my metaphoric heiny to NOT sting for just a wee little while.

This post linked to Metamorphosis Monday at Between Naps on the Porch.


Filed under Domestic Goddesshood, Humor

26 Responses to SCORE!

  1. Definitely worth mega points for that totally awesome, totally clean work space. You go girl. And I lurve your bed. I want to jump

    • I considered a blinking sign that says, “Look! This bed is made!” but figured it would clash with the neon “Open” sign that hangs in the window.

  2. I refuse to look at these clean pictures….cleaning is a disease that I am trying to avoid…these pictures might be catching!


  3. Thanks for stopping by, obviously we went in different directions this weekend, and now I’m minus a gazillion points and…under arrest.

    Thanks also for the offer of your labeler. I actually have one…. I just can’t find it.


  4. I love visiting your blog – it inspires me to get some stuff done around my home!

  5. Love your blog name and your sense of humor. I’m impressed by your use of Pledge…as the only pledge I’ve ever used is the allegiance one ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I’ve even used the Every Surface Known To Humanity Pledge. It’s okay, but when you reaaaallly want that shiny wood look, it needs to be the real stuff.

  6. I’m very impressed and trying to get motivated by reading this. Just looked at the pictures again. Ummm, is there an orange traffic cone next to your bed?

    • LOL!! That, actually, is a old-fashioned metronome. But now that you’ve said that, I want a bunch of orange traffic cones to put around areas I want to keep the kids out of.

  7. Congratulations! Great job!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Now i wish i could do the same…

  8. I think you cheated yourself on only 5 points for all that stuff in one day. (and shhhh, I have a label maker too…and believe it or not, a metronome just like that! crazy!)

  9. Your office space deserves all the points. Very nice!
    504 Main

    • I should have awarded myself an extra point or two for actually HAVING a label maker.

      Didn’t think about it in time.

      Oh well, I have plenty of other crazy things I can award myself points for.

      And thank you!

  10. Nice work. That clean desk made me glance at our own not so clean one and see potential…

  11. LOL at the magnet in the chair cushion. Laundry is evil, my friend. Pure EVIL!!! Awesome blog! I’ll be back! ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Nice to meet you! *waving*

    I love your lamp.

    (Did you ever see that I love lamp bit on the movie Anchorman?)

    Really, though, I do love your lamp!

    • *waves back* Hi Katie!

      Glad you like the lamp. It’s funny, the lamp apparently is also featured on “The Big Bang Theory.” We’ve seen it on three different sets. : )

  13. Pingback: But is it Art? « In Pursuit of Martha Points

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