Really? REALLY?

This is our new rallying cry.

This is our response now to anything ridiculous, annoying or inappropriate.

Last month, Himself and I flew to New York by way of Minnesota to visit friends. It was an exhausting trip what with its whirlwind of socializing and sleeping in discount, stinky motels with uncomfortable pillows. But sometimes this is how a vacation goes.

The most painful part was the trip home. No direct flights from Rochester to the Bay Area, and since our travel plans often revolve around ensuring that we are not on eensy weensy planes (owing to Himself’s proclivity towards awkward and unpleasant side-effects on them) the most efficient routes are sometimes off our itinerary.

Case in point: flying home from Rochester was a trajectory that took us first to Atlanta, then to San Francisco. Let me just point out that the flight home from Atlanta was longer that the same flight would have been from, say, JFK or La Guardia. But we were in upstate NY, and we couldn’t fly through NYC for fear that we might get seated on, oh I don’t know, a mosquito.

On both legs of this journey, we were late in the boarding call. Which meant that we were last to try and get our carryons properly stowed in the overhead bins before sitting down and listening to a recording tell us how to fasten a seatbelt and how to not scream in blind panic in the unlikely event of a water landing. We were flying from Rochester to Atlanta. A water landing really suggested a plethora of problems of which the water is only a modest one.

This is stressful. People are trying to board while you are basically the cork in a bottleneck trying to figure out how much force you can leverage onto your bag to wedge it into a bin where you are guaranteed to not be able to get it out later without risk of injury.

Himself was desperately looking for a bin where there might be some room for reorganizing (while people are backed up behind him trying to get on, and people trying to go backwards are backed in front of him as they try to get their bags to the jetway for checking because they’ve given up all hope).

He found a bin that did not resemble a can of sardines, and started rearranging the pieces to make room for his bag so he could stow the damned bag and get the hell out of the way.

I should mention that two of the bags were Louis Vuitton. I can see where this is going, you probably can too. Himself, fully ignorant of what one Louis Vuitton bag means, let alone two, was sadly ignorant of the inevitable repercussions of his rearranging.

The woman who owned said bags looked up at him moving them around and said, “Really? Really?” as if some degree of choice were involved in his actions.

Himself politely asked if these were her bags. “Yes,” she said, “And one of them has a laptop in it.”

“Could you put one under the seat?” He asked.

“No.” She replied.

“Okay, then I’m going to stack them on top of each other and make some room.”

“Really? Really?”

After he’d moved the bags around a bit she said, “Here, I’ll give you the twenty-five bucks to check it.”

Honest and for true. These are the words that left her mouth. Because the thing that is categorically the most effective tool in a crowded and stressful situation is snark and rudeness. I think I read that in Steven Covey book somewhere.

Himself was basically ignoring her at this point, seeing as how she was not being helpful and was more emotionally invested in being annoying, and he re-arranged the bags, got his bag in the bin, and beat a hasty retreat to the back of the plane where I was waiting for him where he relayed the story in all its glory. This was where I learned about the brand of the bags. He said at one point, “They were those bags with the letters on them…’L’ and something?”

So, I knew that no good would come of that exchange. He could have been Santa Claus trying to stow toys for impoverished children and he still would have heard the “Really? Really?”

Not to mention the offer of the $25 bucks.

I think he should have taken her money then stuffed his bag in the bin anyway.

So now when anyone says anything with which we even modestly disagree (things like, “Can I have the last piece of chicken?” or “How about pasta for dinner?”) someone in the family responds with “Really? Really?”

Although to date, no one has offered money.

This post linked with much irreverence and silliness to “Word Up, Yo!” Hosted by your friendly, neighborhood Nerd Mafia.


Filed under Humor

45 Responses to Really? REALLY?

  1. Really? REALLY? You really think that with all that plethora of “LV’s” on the bags your husband would know? I betcha $25 bucks my husband wouldn’t have known that brand either.

    Just proves that women ARE the smarter sex! ; )

    Happy Hump day!

  2. You have GOT to be kidding me!

    I think it is quite possible that Himself met the Queen of Snark!

    I honestly can’t list the plethora of things that I might have said to the Queen had she offered ME the $25.

  3. Oh, I love the better-than-the-rest-of-us type people. Because clearly, if you own two Louis’, you should just get the whole bin to yourself.

    Himself should’ve taken the money and still stuffed his bag in 😉

  4. Jb

    Have you ever really really really really really loved that woman?

  5. My girls have mastered those words!
    Some people just don’t have the accomadating gene in them. I think it’s a necessity when traveling. Good thing hubby’s a persistent fellow!

  6. I would have taken the $25 and checked her bag. Really.

  7. I was on a flight where a girl in First Class got pissed at the flight attendant for not getting her laptop down for her during the flight. She then yelled at me for being a Democrat. I’m not sure how those issues are related, but she connected them, even though I was not talking to her.

  8. liz

    If it was me, I’d be repeating the “I’ll GIVE you $25 for that” line. But that’s just me.

  9. Ok, based on the cork in the bottleneck reference, I have to assume that you guys weren’t flying first class on this leg of your journey…so if her LV bags are so superior, why are they slumming in coach? I mean really.

    • Oh no…definitely coach. I have only every glimpsed first class through curtains.

      And exactly…if you want your crap handled with kid-gloves, FORK OVER THE DOUGH!

      Himself is way too damned polite.

  10. Himself had a lot more self discipline than I would have likely had. I would have also been like him, and been completely unaware of the L embellishment. Just makes you want to throw peanuts at her from the back though doesn’t it. I always take several days to think of interesting and inventive ways to get revenge. It makes me feel better.

  11. KLZ

    Huh. I didn’t realize you were on a plane with my Step-Mother-in-Law recently.

  12. Airplane rides are such great fodder for humor. My sister once traveled on a plane in her third trimester with her 2 yo daughter and they had separate seats and several people refused to change seats with her. Planes really bring out the worst, or the best, in people.

    When I travel with my two kids, I adopt a super hero alter ego, Zen Mom. Here’s my story about it.

    Let me know when you want to guest blog for me!

    • People wouldn’t change seats so she could sit next to her TWO-YEAR-OLD??

      Good heavens…I have less faith in humanity.

      And I was thinking I would write something this weekend. 🙂

  13. I’ve never flown before. Stories like this do not encourage me to try it! I have pretty bad anxiety and I think I’d have a nervous breakdown… Hell, I started to sweat reading the part about the crowd of people moving around. I probably would have snapped her head off or started crying. Probably just cried though…

    • I truly don’t like flying at all…I get freaky and scared.

      I just like the destinations soooo much.

      And I vote for head snapping offage.

  14. Okay. I love this post. Because I picked up that “Really. Really?” thing from a friend’s husband, who says it incessantly. And now, because I am old and losing social filters, seem to be finding reasons to use it in all sorts of situations.

    and then, after I hear myself say it, I think, “Self, you are inviting back a really obnoxious response.”

    It is SO. annoying. It’s the “like” of this decade. Really? REALLY? Really.

  15. Ok, this made me lol because that is MY motto! Except I add “Are you serious right now?” To the end. Well, I used to. Everyone else does now. Example: Child jumps from couch to coffee table. Me: “Really? REALLY….” Child: “Are you serious right now?” (Did that kid just mock me?? Really? REALLY??) Loved this post! Stopping in from Taming Insanity. Word up, yo.

  16. I love that your husband handled it that way. I know I wouldn’t have, but then I probably would have been thrown off the plane. 🙂

  17. Brunch101

    Goodness, one would think that “Her Majesty”
    would have been in 1st class…not forced to mingle
    with the commoners! Your husband handled
    the situation very well!

  18. Wow. And Really? Really?

    I would have taken her $25.00, but then grabbed her computer bag and stowed it under my feet. In the back of the plane. So that at landing? She would have to wait until the entire plane had unloaded before working her way back to retrieve it.

    And I would have used that $25.00 to buy a drink or two. And then I would have giggled loudly.


  19. I think you should really, really look into the origin of “really, really.” Like, really. I’m curious. For reals.

    • I believe in HER case it originated in both a facelift and a pair of Manolo Blahniks that were too tight.

      And when I google “Really Really”, Google suggests either “really really scary man” or “really really like you Korean drama.”

      I don’t want to go to EITHER of those places.

  20. Holy crap do I wish that the giver of the “really? Really?” knew that you were the butt of so many jokes in your home. Now, I would pay $25 for that.

    • Yeah…I wish she knew too.

      I’m sure, on her end, we are the butt of the joke. (At least, Himself is… “And then? I even OFFERED him the money to stop abusing my luggage!)

      But I think my punchline is funnier.

  21. *she was the butt* sorry. Dang I tried to fix that before it submitted but I’ll be darned.

  22. I think her trip to New York included a hop down to Canal Street. Flying coach with an attitude equals fake LVs from Canal street. I don’t have an attitude because I have real authentic Samsonite.

  23. Michele

    Lori, your husband was a lot more polite than my ex-husband. Years ago (eons, actually) he got in a grocery store express lane where the person ahead of him was arguing with the checker because the store was out of the brand of frozen pie shells on sale that week, so she wanted a different kind at the same price. The clerk wouldn’t make an exception so Ex finally snapped, reached in his pocket for change and said “Here, lady, I’ll give you fifteen cents, now just go on!”. That’s why I said eons ago, can you imagine anyone noticing that little discount in price now?

    • LOL…wow, a 15 cent coupon! I remember those days. That’s when a candy bar cost a quarter!

      And it is entirely possible that I would have taken the route of your ex.

      Really? Really.

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