Opinions Up.

So I’ve been toying with an idea lately.

Not like cat-and-mouse toying. I’m not torturing the idea. Nor do I plan to leave its little carcass in front of anyone’s bedroom door. The idea deserves to be treated better than that.

(PS – I’m very glad my cats play with fake dead mice. I would be really displeased to get up in the morning and walk out into the hallway to step on a non-fake dead mouse. Known in some elitist intellectual arenas as a “real” dead mouse. Stupid nomenclature snobs.)

Words and I are good friends.

I love words. Words are music. They are powerful, strong, beautiful and full of glorious potential.

I’ve been a writer…well, always probably.

I had my first piece published when I was thirteen.

I’ve never tried to be a writer, though.

That’s different.

I can’t really try to be a writer now either. At least, not a in a full-time, major committment way.

Because I have promised my family that I will do my best to make sure we never live under a bridge.

All the good bridges in town are probably already taken.

By people who thought they could be writers.

But back to me.

I have a long piece that is the first chunk of what could be a major piece. Based loosely, very loosely, on my blended family experience.

I can’t post it here.

I would break my blog.

I’m fond of my blog, I prefer it not be broken if I can help it.

But I thought that once a week I could post a piece of it.

If that doesn’t distract too much from the points and the evil cats and the laundry that’s growing consciousness.

But I’d like some feedback before I go running amok with the fiction posting.

Cause I’m not a bait and switch sort of gal.

Not that that means I can’t change my mind or broaden my horizons.

But baiting and switching is unkind and people report you to the Better Business Bureau and I have enough grief from nasty agencies, let me tell YOU. Breathing down your neck, yelling at you for repeatedly violating the service window and not having proper licenses and getting Schnauzers and sheep mixed up and whatEVER! Stupid, elitist consumer protection agencies.

And, since I just happened to notice that my blog has a poll feature, and I love playing with new features (even though it’s not actually new, I just now noticed it don’t quibble, people!), I figured I’d go ahead and take a poll.

So without further ado:

See  how attentive I am to your needs? Here, let me freshen that iced-tea for you.

Also, the home appraisal is scheduled for Wednesday. Which means this afternoon there will madness the likes of which IPoMP has never seen. Stay tuned for the full psychotic run-down on Thursday.


Filed under Humor

45 Responses to Opinions Up.

  1. liz

    wait, wait…i missed why there is an appraisal set.

    i voted.

    • We’re refinancing the house, and since we bought in 2006 (how brilliant are we?) the house has lost value and a full on appraisal needs to be done.

      Right when the patio is a shambles. More brilliance.

  2. KLZ

    Lori, why do you put a joke option in when you know I MUST select it?

    I did order extra pepperoni though.

    If you’re not sure, maybe you want to start a second blog devoted to the writing? Could make life easier? Or harder? Just a thought…

    • I put the joke in there because I know the people I love are funny and would click in just because it was there. 😉

      Have tossed the idea of a second blog around, but…I’m past my blogging critical threshold in terms of time. I could write a whole three day feature on my feelings about the marketing and all that..

      But what that means is the idea of doing any maintenance on a second blog overwhelms me a little. (Why take five words when fifty will do just as well?)

      But it’s not off the table yet.

      Which means it’s just something else to clean.

  3. Or, just add another page to this blog? I like the idea. It will be great motivation for you to keep writing it and if you tackle it a bit at a time – voila! before you know it – finished piece.

    • That motivation part is part of why I want to start putting it up here. If people are actually reading, I tend to be more excited about writing.

      And my blog format doesn’t do other pages well. I mean, they’re *threre* but not in serial post format like this one is.

      Could be awkward. But it’s a possibility.

  4. Sounds like fun! And really, it IS a part of your chaotic-household-point-scrounging-design-loving-Martha’ing fabulousness. We read about YOU, and this is you. Write away!

  5. Tempt us with 2 free chapters and then make us buy the ebook.

  6. I vote for a page up in your menu bar. That way, we can dip in and out for your blazing wit and awesome observations, but also get a good read on.

    I’m thinking about the bridges in my town…we’d have to be really short if we were going to live there, so I’m going to do my best to avoid that. Short, and not afraid of trolls.

    • Yes, trolls plus all the noise of the goats traipsing back and forth..

      And traffic traipsing back and forth too.

      I think the lesson is, avoid living under bridges if at all possible.

  7. I’d love to see what you’ve written. You have a definite way with words that makes me a little jealous. I try to be a writer, but thanks to my husband we have yet to live under a bridge.

    • I make people jealous?? I’ve been DYING to make people jealous! Tell me again how jealous you are!!

      And you are forbidden from living under a bridge.

      Understand? You use words BEAUTIFULLY and there will be no under bridge living for you.

  8. I would love to see it, but I understand the indecision. Maybe, you could display a posting schedule, so all would be clear; Mon. Tues. = Chaotic House Stories, Thurs = Fabulous Writing Day.

    • Not that Chaotic House Stories aren’t ALSO fabulous writing, of course…(insert Pepperoni pizza now).

      • Ok, you had me so glowy at “fabulous-writing day” that I totally missed anything even remotely like a slight.

        You could have worked something about my mother being on friendly terms with a Yeti and I probably would have missed it.

        (And she’s not, I don’t think…not at the moment, anyway.)

  9. I would also love to read what you’ve written! I think you’re a fabulous & entertaining writer & I would enjoy reading more. 🙂

  10. Amy UK

    Bring on the writing! And don’t forget that iced-tea, I’m parched! xxx

  11. Good luck on the appraisal and can’t wait to read your story!

    It’s funny that your topic is blended family. My sister and I were just discussing yesterday, whether or not I should write about being a child of divorce on my blog. Still can’t decide. Worried about guilting the parentals. Don’t you love how I make up my own words? 🙂

    • Much of my life and what I’ve been through, experienced, etc. doesn’t make it here.

      Because that was then, this is now, and the people who lived through it are mending, the people who weren’t well then are healing and…I fear almost that talking too much about it makes it seem I’m ungrateful for how incredible my life is NOW.

      But sometimes writing is healing, and a way to process.

      If you write things like that that you need to process, please tell me. I will read it.

      Sometimes we just need people to listen.

      And I’m a huge proponent of word-making-uppage. Go, team!

  12. I voted, and think you definitely do it. But like with anything else, you gotta market it right. Might I suggest two ways:

    1. market it to your awesome readers as “super special bonus Lori content.” People like bonuses, no matter what they are.


    2. if you think that the content might just not interest a portion of your readers, offer it on Saturday or Sunday, when site traffic is generally lower and your most faithful and loving readers will be the ones most likely to read it. That’s what i did with my food blogging. Moved it all to Sundays. That way, the people who want it, still get it, but it doesn’t create noise for the rest of my blog. (except for tomorrow)

    Can I vote yes AND for pepperoni. And well done. I hate when those pizza place freaks don’t brown my cheese.

    • Ugh! Melty unbrowned cheese is simply wrong and we should enact legislation against it.

      And I love the idea of bonus material. That sounds good, like “gift with purchase!”

  13. I think a once a week installment would be wonderful (I’ve actually thought about doing this myself) Once a week is close enough that everyone can remember what is going on, but not too much that it takes over.

    I’m sure it will be interesting and fun to read.

    Also….I would like some extra pepperoni! Thanks 😉

    • Extra pepperoni is yours, mam’selle! Courtesy of IPoMP.

      I will do my best to keep up with interesting and fun.

      And loud. We can’t really forget loud.

      I don’t mean to be. It just sort of happens.

  14. I would LOVE to read your fiction!!! So I voted yes, of course. Throw it up there, lady! It’s your blog. I think you get some points for bravery there. 🙂

    • I didn’t think about Martha Points for bravery or valor.

      That’s an idea that might have some legs.

      I could get extra MP’s for slaying spiders!

  15. Well, I would just love to hear about your blended family experience, whether it’s fictitious or not, because it would still embody your vision! So please do share. Selfishly, I want to know what’s in store when I break that ground someday.

    • I hope with everything i can hope with that your blended family works like the one I was blessed with.

      I don’t know what i did to get so very lucky, but I am amazed by the life I have found.

      So I hope for equal wonderfulness for you. Because you deserve it.

  16. Great to find you. Love the blog!

  17. I would LOVE to read your work! Post away, girlie.

    Maybe this is the catalyst to make the switch to .org? Could you then support another section for the book?

    • I thought about that too! We are brilliant, the two of us. (In other brilliance, you inspired me to do business cards for BootCamp.)

      I was wondering if other templates allowed serial posting on multiple pages. The .com doesn’t, I know. At least, I haven’t found a template that supports it.

      Because that’s what I’d REALLY want to do.

  18. I think Kristin is a genious, but I of course voted for pepperoni. I’d read whatever you wrote, I’m a fan.

  19. Like Poppy, I’ll read anything that you have ever, are currently, or will ever write! Post it…can’t wait to see it!

  20. Being that I love reading me some fiction, I heartily voted YES! As long as there are some quivering loins accounted for, or magnificent manhood or something. If there are no raunchy/romantic notions I get distracted…very easily.

  21. I would love to read it!

    And also? This is your blog, woman!

    Post what you like!


    • I think posting shall be done.

      Of the fiction variety that is.

      The other kind is pretty well a guarantee.

      Because, you know, once you get me talking and all…

      The shutting up and I are not as good a friends as the words and I are. Am. Is.

      Goddamn irregular verbs.

  22. I’m glad I voted with the other 73% of the IPoMP population… 🙂

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