Mothers Unite!

AP Washington DC – They say that an oppressed group who organizes is a dangerous thing. Don’t ask us who “they” are. Surely somebody sometime said something like that. And today a portion of the population that has never taken to the streets, took to the streets.


Exhausted by their long hours, frustrated with a world that tells them they’re doing it wrong no matter what they do, tired of the blame foisted on them for basically whatever choice they’ve made no matter what the circumstance, moms have finally had enough.

Sylvia J. from Cleveland, Ohio had this to say. “When I heard about the march, I knew I had to be here. If I have to watch one more talk show that tells me that I sh0uld be working when I’m staying home, or staying home when I’m working, I’m gonna take a match to the Fisher Price farm and those helmet-haired armless mutants are gonna burn.”

Organizers say that this is both a pressure release valve and a way to express feelings that often go unheard in the media at large. Caught between June Cleaver, Claire Huxtable and that chick from that gritty drama that everyone said they watched but never really did, moms are fed up with unrealistic role-models and limited wardrobe choices.

There were signs everywhere: being carried, strapped to strollers, taped to the family dog or the family teenager, wedged into swanky baby-carriers, or occasionally duct-taped to an unsuspecting Hare Krishna.

The sentiments were both deep and powerful.


It was a day of solidarity and self-expression. Mothers of every walk of life got together to tell the world what they’re really thinking and feeling.

One mother shouted through a bullhorn to encourage a group of moms linking arms to fight forced detention in turquoise minivans: “Give us your tired (because they’re not allowed to sleep), your poor (because the teenagers took your last twenty), your huddled masses yearning to be free (from watching one more goddamned episode of Dora the Explorer)!”

It was a show of strength seldom seen in Washington these days.

But what else would you expect from moms?



Filed under Humor

26 Responses to Mothers Unite!

  1. This made me choke on my coffee! I love it!

    My own sign suggestion: You Know Where Every Remote Control in the House is, but You Cannot Find the F*&^ing Dishwasher?

  2. I am totally printing those signs and getting a roll of tape….these people around here don’t know who they’re messing with now!

    Oh Lori, what would my boring cereal and orange juice be in the morning if I didn’t have you to make me snort it out my nose? You crack me up! And you “get” me, too…..together, we will unite!

  3. Ah, just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more.

    I’ll pick up my poster board on my lunch break today and dig thru the markers & glitter bin when I get home.

    …I may have to let the kids decorate their own protest sign in order to convince them to let me use their markers and glitter…but it’s a small price to pay for the revolution!

  4. The last 2 signs are, by far, my favorite. Freakin’ hysterical. I would LOVE for my boobs to be back where they started & seriously…don’t FACK with my coffee. Just don’t.

  5. I want one of each of those signs to post in my front yard!! LOL You so get motherhood!

  6. Ok, so we will march together.
    Yes, we will.
    What time do we leave?
    And do I have to carry a sign, because I will probably put it down and forget where it is or hit someone with either accidentally or on purpose …

    you made my morning happy 🙂

  7. Those signs were hysterical. Every. Single. One. But because of the piles of laundry facing me today, I have to go with this:

    Would it kill you to fold something?

    Subtle. And yet so so (so) very funny.

  8. CDG

    I will be there!

    With a sandwich board reading: How do you ask nicely?

  9. I’d have loved to be there but the kids have outgrown the stroller & at the last minute my husband had to make an overnight trip for work & I couldn’t get a sitter.

  10. This is fabulous! I need some of these signs for my house! 😉

    A very needed laugh today. Thanks!

  11. HILARIOUS! If I wasn’t sequestered inside my home until my husband learns how to take care of more than one child at a time I would SO be there.

  12. All I can say is….awesome. 🙂

  13. liz

    I got a good LOL from “make love not war!”

    And the upside of being boobless? They don’t “relocate” to the bellybutton region. 🙂

  14. Mother Hen is inspired! Chickens are among the most prolific mothers in the world, but do they get any respect? Oh, noooo!
    Her sign will read,
    “Lay your own frickin’ eggs!”

  15. Count me in.

    I’ll be carrying the sign, “Please and Thank You are the magic words.”

  16. I’m in!

    And you could seriously sell all of those as stickers and make some serious cash for PP&B!

  17. I’m on board with every last one of these!

    Love ‘em, love ‘em!

  18. This is hilarious. My favorite? “Would it kill you fold something?” Also, if they are looking to burn Fisher Price toys, they can start the crusade in my apartment.

  19. Those signs are hilarious. And I will totally show up and protest with you.

    Sure, I’m not a mom, but I’m a sucker for a good protest.

  20. hilarious.

    can we sacrifice Sid the Science kid to the mom gods too?

  21. Loved this and now have to resit the urge to spend the afternoon coming up with more slogans!

  22. How large do these print???

  23. Muffin tops make me look old? Shiiiiit.

  24. omg – hysterical!

    Every. Last. One.

  25. Lori,
    Your signs killed me. Sadly I could have proudly waved each and every one in the march. I’m sorry I missed it.

  26. Pop

    You know, I went to this rally and you forgot the most prevalent sign:

    $5 or best offer!

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