More Sequins!

In my head, my life is a musical.

Something a few notches south of ย Gentleman Prefer Blondes.

Lots of dance.

Lots of heels.

There is a kick ass horn section.

SO much of my life is more interesting if I imagine it choreographed and costumed.

For instance, mopping my offensively annoying dark-stained hardwood floor is much more interesting if I also happen to be in a spotlight singing “La Vie Boheme” from Rent.

Plus, I can stand on one of the tables!

Scrubbing the shower tile feels much less pedestrian if I imagine myself on stage doing the “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago.

Added bonus: I can contemplate murder at the same time! It’s totally built into the song, although no one actually kills a family member for soap scum.

And to avoid boredom when I’m cooking, in my head I’m singing that saucy little title number from Cabaret.

There are simply not enough excuses in this world to wear false eyelashes you could snare a guinea fowl in.

And fishnet stockings, either.

So the next time the drudgery of the mundane is getting you down, put yourself in a beaded strapless and imagine a 12 piece orchestra backing you up. And don’t limit yourself to around-the-house tedium. Nothing spices up a marketing meeting like fan kicks and a Vegas headdress.

Umm…in your head I mean. Don’t do it for reals.

It confuses the salespeople.

Don’t ask.

25 Comments

Filed under Humor

25 Responses to More Sequins!

  1. My youngest sister and I make it our custom to practice show tune Sunday. Or Wednesday. Whichever day it happens to be.
    Once we worked at the Gap together. There hasn’t been that much pep since.

  2. Klz

    This explains the odd looks I got at the last company party

  3. “I Cain’t Say No” has spiced up many a shower scrubbing in my day.

    Show Tune Warblers, unite!

  4. I have slate floor that I have to get down on my knees and scrub. I always imagine I am in that orphanage Annie was in and singing “Hard Knock Life”

  5. See, now I posted about cleaning last night….but your way of cleaning makes me re-think hating the chore as I do!

    You go, girl! Strapless and beaded all the way.

  6. Not gonna lie. I totally have the “Broadway” station saved as a favorite in Pandora. The boy child and I sing our little hearts out on the drive home sometimes.

    Life IS better in sequins and heels.

  7. Are you suggesting my life isn’t a Broadway musical???

  8. Oh, but for real would be awesome! ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Someone needs to inform my cat that he is not to weave between my legs during cleaning choreography. Face-planting with a toilet brush really ruins the scene.

  10. Only in my head? Oh man! No fun! I’ll miss the crazy looks from my husband as I belt out my rendition of “Funny Girl” or “Maybe Next Time”

  11. I want to get me some glittery false eyeleashes, a la Anne Hathaway at the Oscars.

  12. Errrr…. eyelashes. I don’t know what eyeleashes are, but I bet they’re scary.

  13. liz

    Oh, what I wouldn’t give to see a video of you doing fan kicks with a headdress on!

    At least your imagination helps make things like scrubbing bathrooms more enjoyable??

  14. I double dog dare you to do it for real!

  15. You can snare a guinea fowl with your eyelashes? Multi talented you are.

  16. I feel better now.
    I have songs in my head at work, at bowling, while paying bills.
    And I have been caught “dancing” in the kitchen.

    But now? I say Dr. Lori advised this for “therapeutic” reasons.

  17. Soooo doing this. I’m totally serious. “It’s a Hard Knock Life” , “Easy Street”, complete with dance moves as the kitchen gets cleaner.

    On a related note, I’ve got a soundtrack for you to listen to you while you work. It will make every.darned.thing you do seem like you deserve a freakin’ nobel prize for it. You’ll feel so noble as you do your laundry. I’m tellin you.

  18. Oh, I had such a headache after seeing Burlesque.

    From the singing you ask?

    NO…from the acting.

  19. Mother Hen would have loved to have seen an illustration for this blog, Ms. Lori!
    “Memory, all alone in the moonlight…”
    Yes, she knows that a chicken doing Cats is a bit awkward, but this is her fantasy, and she is darn well going to go for it!

  20. Did I ever tell you I grew up in a musical theater family? And I don’t mean we went to see Cats on Broadway more than once (even though we did), I mean that for the large majority of my childhood, we (my father, my mother and I) were all in a musical theater TROOP.

    Just thought you might like to know that.

  21. And this is why I love you. Because nothing makes me more happy than fan kicks, sequins, headdresses, fishnets, and falsies. Eyelashes, that is. It’s why I enjoy Vegas so much. That and the pole dancing.

  22. I LOVE to sing while I’m doing stuff.

    I tend toward opera when I’m feeling kind of fancy. Not from actual operas. More like sing like all three tenors while I’m doing stuff.

  23. Right now, my husband and I are taking ballroom dancing so I can bring my sound track to vivid life with a sparkly dress and strappy shoes as we glide across the floor. {Me singing all the while}
    I believe we are new tweeps ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. CDG

    My life has been a musical since I nailed the “Wind Beneath My Wings” solo in eighth grade.

    Speaking of which, Lori? Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?

    You’re welcome.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

Please log in to WordPress.com to post a comment to your blog.

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s