Memorial Day Potluck

So TexasHolly over at June Cleaver Nirvana cancelled her own potluck, probably due to having some sort of life or something and having things to do, people to gather with, barbecue to..uh..barbecue. As opposed to me who has a husband, three kids and a mother-in-law all hanging out and sort of doing nothing but puttering until our own barbecue later this evening.

BUT..she put the link up for those of us who feel compelled to gather some juicy tidbits and slap ‘em into a potluck.

And you know me…give me a chance to ramble online and there just ain’t no way I’m gonna say no. (I know, I know…as a Californian I just don’t pull of “ain’t” properly. I can’t do “y’all” either. Totally ridiculous.)

I had some doozies this week. First, “Points on My Mother.” Now, I will certainly issue my mother Martha Points if she so chooses, she’s puts me to shame in any number of categories. But it never occurred to me to put them on her, and I really can’t condone that practice. I mean, a hefty positive score would cause an injury, and a negative one would…well, I don’t even know but it can’t be good. Another interesting one: “can wife take my points?” I’ve never thought of issuing points as some sort of competition, but it does have potential. And finally, “shredded wheat shake and bake” brought Tracy over to IPoMP, and since Tracy was kind enough to leave a comment and explain how she ended up sharing a webpage with me, she gets +3 points.

Which segues nicely into:

We have two winners this week. First, for bringing my attention to a piece of literary brilliance called “Knitting With Dog Hair,” JB @ Homemakers Pensieve gets +6 points and KLZ @ Taming Insanity gets + 5 points for rationalizing the rampant growth of mold under her sink as “Survival of the Fittest” in action. (Note: she suggested 10 points, and although she certainly earned the 10 points with the inspired rationalizing, there’s a 5 point deduction for..well…mold. It is the Martha Points Scale, after all.)

Ok, this week I’m taking pity on the cats, and instead of detailing their destructiveness, I will show you two pictures that more clearly illustrate why we love them so much despite the many thousands of dollars in damage they have done.

Topaz, our pretty little girl cat.

Nimbus at his most angelic; ie, asleep.

And finally this week:

FINALLY I get to share something. I did make it to the gym once this week, and did a hefty elliptical session and a quick run. I’m a little annoyed, as I had the run firmly under my belt before I got sick on Easter (with small pox), but will probably need to re-work that one pretty thoroughly. Also, for those of you who might think I am a totally deranged person for doing triathlons, let me reassure that I am only a partially deranged person as I only do sprint distances. That is: .5 mile swim, 22 mile ride and 5k run. Regular triathletes think sprint triathlons are “cute warm-ups.” I typically try to throw hazards between the spokes of the tires of people like that.

Alrighty then people, make sure you know where your emergency exits are, your monitor can be used as a floatation device in the unlikely event of a water landing, and please if you fall asleep on the person next to you, refrain from drooling.

Link back to Holly’s Non-Potluck Potluck here!


Filed under Humor

18 Responses to Memorial Day Potluck

  1. liz

    ok, so do people leave you comments with stuff they’ve done and then ask for points? cuz i need to start doing that!

    boston butt’s been on the grill since 8:30 am, and turkey legs went on an hour ago. Yum!

  2. Small pox?!? I have been contemplating a triathlon for some time. But I don’t have a bike and hate running. So I just swim. But good work!

    • I was in fact truly ill back in April, but have been doing some serious milking of the condition which has been described in turn as diphtheria, cholera, typhoid, smallpox, consumption, pleurisy and I don’t even know what else. I think probably by June I will have to shut the heck up about this.

      And it’s funny you swim…swimming was the one that freaked me out the most! (although running is physically hardest.)

  3. A triathalon??? I think I’m a superstud when I make it to Zumba twice a week.

  4. I’ve been wanting to see some sweet pics of y’all’s little cats. Thanks, ain’t nothin’ more special than those little critters. If you can’t pull off those words, you should try “tump”. It’s a great southern word. Most kids learn it in school when they are told not to lean back in their chair or they might tump over OR at home in their backyard when they would swing too high on the swingset. If you swing too high, the set might tump over. Try that word for awhile and see if it fits better.

    • See? See? You say it and I hear this adorable voice. *I* say it and I sound like a poser. I just don’t have the Southern Mystique. (Even though I’m QUITE certain I was Scarlet in a past life.)

      And “tump?” This is a word? Well… I can try, but I really assume that women from Texas all the way to South Carolina will be laughing at me.

  5. Well, I consider anyone doing more than one sport per event a true triathlete. Kudos to you as I am a weakling and consider half marathons a big deal: you can do two more sports than I can and practically at the same time (I can swim and bike and run but not all on the same day)!

    Wow, that was rambling! Must be too much sun today!

  6. Awww…your cats are cuteness.

    Points as a weapon? If you could pelt people with them or bury them in points…?

    I have been inspired by all your working out-ness. I have re-joined yoga which may seem like a cop out unless you knew my yoga teacher was trying to kill me. Great. Last time I mentioned that online she read it, lead a KILLER class and at the end whispered to me at the end that she hoped I was still alive and then GIGGLED. really. I hope she doesn’t read your blog too. I need the use of my arms and legs later this week.

  7. Those guys that think a sprint triathlete is just a warm up have their bike shorts on too tight and are short on personality. Having your training derailed by small pox is a far more legitimate excuse than say uh, happy hour.

  8. I believe that triathlon’s deserve major major points of some kind. I’m breaking into a sweat (even if it is a sprint triathlon) just thinking about it. 🙂

  9. I have been thinking of training for a triathlon for several years now. I even did a ton of swimming last summer, so that I got to the point where I could do a 1/2 mile without drowning (I’m normally a runner). I figure the bike part is easy enough to work up to. It’s the putting them all together that seems so hard. Especially when I look at all those training plans that assume you are training six or seven days a week. If I had six days a week for training, well…my house would certainly be cleaner than it is. So: color me impressed.

    Also? You are hilarious, and I look forward to reading more. I’m so glad the (non)Potluck brought us together this week.

  10. Jb

    OMG! I was soo excited to get those points! And since you liked the Knitting with Dog Hair so much, let me do some shame-less plugging of a related post (please don’t dock me points for that bad behavior)…
    I hope you enjoy it! Your opinion is at the top of my list (does flattery earn points? 😉 )

  11. Hello, kitties.

    Gosh, they look so angelic when they sleep … which is, like, 20 hours a day. Man, I wish I were a cat.

    • They look so pure….so innocent.

      Almost makes up for the raging destruction the 4 hours they’re awake.

      But we do love them so.

  12. Pingback: Homemaker's Pensieve » Potluck???

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