Martha Does Business

I probably shouldn’t title things like that. I already have enough people who think my name is really Martha.

LORI. LORI DOES BUSINESS. The other title is just funnier.

I should probably stop with that, now that I think about that. It perhaps suggests something else altogether.

Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you to everyone who left supportive comments and tweets yesterday. I was secretly reading them during the day to keep myself psyched up, I was just exhausted by the time I got home and could not reply in my normal way.

Also, there is no purposeful intent to be secretive or enigmatic. Trust me, what I’m doing is not that interesting. I just don’t want a potential client to end up here to see my paint obsession, or heaven forbid, find the post on the Brain Absorbing Sponge, so I avoid certain words. But if you truly have a burning desire to know what the business is, drop me a line in the comments and I’ll email you the URL of the business website. See? Full disclosure. I am not selling inappropriate merchandise or marketing myself as a spy! So stop thinking that.

Lillith asked for pictures. I only managed two.

First, here is the non-suit.

I changed at work before driving to the city, and did a fashion show for my co-workers to decide if I would go with that sweater or wear the black blazer I brought with me. The consensus was the sweater.

But I felt naked without the blazer, it turned out.

A  bunch of men in dark suits, and me in my bright dress and sweater. I was okay with the dress.  But I missed my blazer.

And this was the view directly to my left:

I was on the 27th floor of a high-rise building, two blocks from the Trans-America Pyramid. I could have hit it with a rock if I’d thrown it. (A rock, not the pyramid.)

Did I mention I had to show my photo ID twice to get into the building and security searched my car? I think they searched every car, unless a dust-coated 96 Camry with empty happy-meal boxes in the back fits some sort of profile. (And those would be my happy-meal boxes. The  kids won’t go near a McDonalds. Where did I go wrong?)

The meeting itself….went brilliantly well!

I contributed meaningful observations.

I asked intelligent questions.

I had many many people come up to me to learn more about what I do.

The main speaker came up to me at the end to ask for my card because he liked my contribution so much.

I did not fall down with my skirt riding up (thank you Kris, for that image. I almost snorted a ke-bab.)

I did not spill red wine on my new dress.

I did accidentally call one of the speakers Jeff when his name is really Rick. But I think he forgave me.

I met a man whose wife used to do what I do (sort of). She actually wrote a book. I want that book now. It’s out of print, but the man said he had some extra copies and would send me one.

A dozen people asked me for my business card.

I learned lots about this new industry that I’m trying to work my way into. I can now spew at least half a dozen acronyms that I did not know before yesterday. I love when I can sling the lingo. It makes me feel savvy and important.

And the very, very best part….I made it home in an hour and fifteen minutes. Leaving San Francisco at 6:30, I thought I was going to get home some time on Sunday.

Which means I can work on Phase Two of the Dramatic Patio Reno this weekend.

Which is really good, as an appraiser is coming next week, and we would really like to repair the dry-rot on the deck before he shows up.

Dry rot + home appraisal = failed re-finance.

I have issues around failing at things.

You may have noticed.



Filed under Humor

33 Responses to Martha Does Business

  1. KLZ

    Good luck with the appraisal – I’m sure it will go stunningly. I bet Jeff/Rick would agree with me.

    • Jeff/Rick was very nice about the whole thing. Enough so that I wish he was the one doing the appraisal.

      He thought I was funny.

      Funny’s gotta be good when you’re talking real estate these days.

  2. liz

    Way to go, my lady!!

  3. Good for you. I love the outfit. And, the title made me giggle, even though I knew that isn’t what you meant. 🙂

  4. Congrats on such a wonderfully successful meeting!
    And knowing what a drive that is, congrats on making it home in good time…I would have placed my bet on late Saturday afternoon, not Sunday, but you tend to exaggerate and I do not. 😉

    I interviewed in the Trans-America building once. It was amazing…sadly, they didn’t think I was, though.

    Now I’m off to pester you via email for more details.

    • Crazy getting home so fast!

      Especially since the last time I drove home from the city (in May, I think?) It took an hour and quarter just to get to the damned bridge.

      And anyone who doesn’t hire you for something is damned crazy.

      And probably in serious trouble right now.

      Because they were stoopid.

      And will send you another email momentarily.

  5. Yay For You! Doing a happy dance over here. But then again I’m intoxicated…
    (will enquire later when I remember my email)

  6. Yay for Lori! Though I’m not surprised, I predicted this would happen, and am right 23% of the time. So the odds were lookin good. [Did I mention that I hate math?]

    Really, though I’ve never met you, I can convey from being addicted to using your posts for a pick-me-up during the dreary workday that I, indeed, think your personality is great. Now if you end up in the news as a baby-eater or something, because I haven’t actually met you, I am not subject to ridicule.

    I think the dress/sweater combo was a great choice.

    Thank you for publicly recognizing that I am, in fact, nosy. I feel like I can truly be myself now.

    I vote that the cat post – – goes back up for the appraisal. Statistically, over a third of Americans have a cat[s], and I like those odds.

    • I aspire to being right 23% of the time. It’s a goal. I have it on my life plan.

      And I am SOOOO glad you mentioned the cat-climber!! We totally would have left it up! It’s been there so long now, it’s practically invisible to us.

      And it would have stayed there, totally confusing the appraiser who probably would have thought us insane cat people and concluded that the carpet hid ugly stains and had fleas.

      Good save!!

  7. Yay. I am so very happy it well. You killed it!! Onward!!!

  8. Yay! I knew it would go well. And you never know, all those boring guys in business suits might want to read about your dry rot. 🙂 It has certainly worked for Penelope Trunk.

  9. I’m so curious about the new business. Clues point to corporate slp services. Glad your meeting went so well and I’m sure the appraisal will go the same.

  10. I’m sure you know which part I’m going to fixate on- LORI what are you doing at McDonald’s!!
    But good job being professional and grown up.

  11. Mom

    That’s my girl!!!!

    Sorry I missed your call…I was taking Child B to get his license. 🙂

    • I actually remembered that sometime later in the day.

      Twas no biggie.

      And thank you for getting us one more licensed driver in the family!

  12. I wish all businesspeople wore colorful dresses and nice sweaters.

  13. Yay for you! I’m glad it went so well. How ’bout a picture of you in that dress, huh?

  14. Hee hee!

    I knew you would be fine.

    You with your kicking-ass self.

    • I actually read your comment sitting in the conference room waiting for the speakers to start.

      It was really hard to not sit there giggling like an idiot at my phone.

      Which actually helped more than anything else, the giggling.

  15. I knew it…just from lurking and spying…I knew it.

    Great news!!!!

  16. Now I just have to ask what it is you do….although I will be sorely disappointed when you don’t email me a link to a spy website. In my mind, you are now forever a spy.

  17. Hello,

    I have been following your blog, such fun! Thank you.

    Now I am curious (and envious) . . . can you share the url?

    Best of Luck!

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