Losing Track. Or Traction. Hard to tell.

Since the beginning of May I’ve been off my feed. Off my game. Off my rocker.

Let’s just say “off” and you can pick your favorite metaphor.

I have weird periods of the year where the planet seems to be moving through a “Mess Up Lori Cosmic Dust Cloud,” but May isn’t typically one of those months. May is usually fine. In general the only wacky thing about May is that it has Mother’s Day AND my mom’s birthday, but that’s just not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Except that it creates the need for shopping twice within a ten-day period, and while that ranks pretty high on my “No Likey” scale, it’s never inspired the rending of garments or the writing of tragic sonnets.

There’s just been something about this May.

It’s probably a combination of it taking me over three weeks to recover from being sick in April (’cause I had cholera, you know), prepping for a week-long tour of the Eastern United States and Parts of Canada, and then hosting a houseguest for a week. Plus work, kids, graduation, work, money, kids, cats…I could go on, but we all know the drill.

I feel a bit like a cranky toddler who’s had her schedule messed up. And been denied her favorite treat. And watched her little brother get the better toy (that’s not baggage there. Nope. Just a totally random example).

I sat down this morning thinking to do a points update, and my brain can’t get a hold of them.

I can give myself points for stocking the house with snacks and things my mother-in-law likes so she can happily nosh while I’m away at work. But then I need to deduct them for not only failing to think more than two dinners ahead while shopping, but not even realizing it until I got to nearly mealtime and had to seriously consider tuna-on-raisin-bran as an entrée.

Or I can happily grab a few points for making sure Child B’s room was clean, fresh-smelling and ready to host Child B’s grandmother, but then I would have to slice and dice those points with the nearest knife for spacing out about the unseasonal drop in temperature that rendered said grandmother shivering in her sleep. I’m QUITE CERTAIN I lose points if I give my mother-in-law pneumonia.

So therein lies my dilemma. I don’t feel like for the entire month of May I have been able to garner any momentum. I’m in a funk.

May is almost over. June starts in just a few days. I think I’m going to orient myself towards turning the page on the calendar and start thinking some “Fresh Start” thoughts. (Not to be confused with “Fresh Step” thoughts, although we certainly do have litterbox issues.)

And if it’s not too much to ask…I live in California, which is obscenely expensive, and the reason everyone is willing to fork over this sort of dough is for the nice weather. So, if I could place an order for some that’d be great. Scheduled to arrive, say, on Tuesday?

Thanks ever so!

PS – The surprise I mentioned last week is something for serious fans of the blog. But I decided that since I was occupied with the lovely MIL this week, I would share it next week instead. So I’ll post it on Tuesday.


Filed under Humor

36 Responses to Losing Track. Or Traction. Hard to tell.

  1. Yuck. I have when I get out of sync like that – hope it gets better soon!

  2. I hate the rut! I think your fresh start gor June is a good plan. When I plan a fresh start I always give myself a few days warm-up, so instead of having June 1st fresh start day, I would pick June 4th. You know, to work up to it.

  3. I’m right there with ya, girl. Tole ya earlier in the week that someone was gonna die. Well I’m feeling slightly less homicidal, but I explain it to my hubby as “my brain has been scrambled with a fork.” That’s how I feel. Here’s to June and everything being better.

    • Brain scambled with fork. Yes, that is SO how I am feeling right now.

      Yesterday I opened a can of olives thinking it was diced chiles. Totally didn’t notice until the can was open. Then looked at the rice, looked at the olives, and said “What the hell…” and dumped them in.

      Cause opening a SECOND CAN was absolutely beyond my capacity at that point.

  4. Lori, I’ve been meaning to visit your blog for a while now, and today I finally had time to do it.

    I LOVE the concept of Martha Points! But your scale doesn’t go down far enough for me to be rated on it. I’m way worse than a -50 right now!

    Sorry you’re having such a bad week. Sometimes you just have to wait until Monday and re-set, you know? At least it’s a holiday weekend. 🙂 I’ll be back to visit again soon.

    • Ok, that “Read Lori’s Blog” was even ON someone’s To-Do list is an outrageous compliment. And I’m so glad you swung by for a read. (Or is that “swang by?”)

      And the -50 was a conscious decision to make sure that I never sank SO FAR DOWN that I’d just abandon ship and turn the house into a landfill. Not that it doesn’t warrant a lower score on occasion. Sadly.

      And I’ll raise a toast to the holiday weekend! Or two! Or nine!

  5. KLZ

    Is it a guide on how to score our own Martha Points? And a booklet of things we can purchase when we get x number of points?

    • Not a booklet…a thingie. A little tiny thingie.

      Although, and I’m totally not kidding, my kids were discussing getting the iPhone developer’s kit so they could write a Martha Points app for me.

      My kids are scary and we’re all lucky they don’t know the secret launch codes.

  6. Well, I think you should definitely rate a few points, at least from me. I hate meal planning for my family or for anyone else. My family is lucky that I keep milk and bread in the house on a (semi) regular basis. If it were up to me, I’d grant you 5 Martha Points.

    Have a glass of wine tonight. That always re-boots me.

    • There have been times when I have suggested to the kids that the box the cereal came in is edible and has lots of dietary fiber.

      Wine? Why yes, there has been some. A little. A case, maybe. Or two…

  7. There is nothing that sends shudders down my spine or creates more stress in my life than having any one of the grandmas or grandpas as houseguests. I, too, have found myself on numerous occasions going, “WTF am I serving for dinner tonight” at 4:59 p.m. and you KNOW those seniors want their dinner EARLY. They get grumpy if they’re not fed on time, like babies. I, too, have found a very grumpy grandparent on a few mornings because our house is either too cold or too hot.

    I think you earn 100 MPs just for hosting a grandparent. Seriously.

    • LOL..I’m really ready to simply take points wherever I don’t actually fall down or break things.

      And my mom-in-law is lovely, but…it’s still just someone in the house, you know? Who probably doesn’t want her feet to stick to the bathtub that the kids use….

  8. Oh my, only two meals ahead? I suggest cereal as a valid choice for every meal. I’m funkin around too. Blogging, cooking, cleaning, nothing seems to be jiving. I’m hoping June will be the answer too.

    • There seem to be a LOT of us. What the heck is going on? Maybe we are in a funky cosmic dust-cloud. No, wait, that doesn’t sound right…that sounds like we should all be wearing disco gear…

  9. I’m having a questionable May as well. For example, I took the entire week off to put in my garden and we’ve gotten approximately eleven hundred inches of rain every single day. Here’s hoping June’s more cooperative.

    • Yes, I’m going a little crazy with all the rain here, and my cats are looking at me wondering when I will be starting on the Ark.

      And my time off got totally soaked too!

      I’m beginning to suspect a conspiracy!

  10. Hey, you should get mega points for blogging through it all. That seems to be where most of my deductions have been lately. I have been reaching deep into the archives just to keep up…shhhhh.

    • Yes, but your archives are SOOOO funny. No one ELSE is taking about being a fierce smoking beaver detector.Wait, I may have that not quite right…

      But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.

  11. Well that’s a bummer. You are likely running around too much and burning your bridge at both ends (as I like to say). I think you might earn some MP by deligating, prioritizing, and postponing (I’m sure Martha does all of those, especially the first). I hope June looks up for you.


  12. How about points for keeping this blog going throughout and reducing new readers to tears of laughter everytime you post! I’d say that would add up to more than what you lost. Hope June is better. I’ve hated May here too, because of constant stormy weather which meant never ending migraines.

    • I’ve had a lot of people comment about the un-Mayness of this particular May. I’m so sorry about the migraines! I’ll hope for sunny skies and an ache free head for you.

  13. Here’s hoping June treats you well!

    I found your blog via Blog Brew. Great concept/title. Nice to ‘meet’ you.

  14. Jb

    Hey there!
    I’m sharing my first award with you…The Versatile Blogger! Hope you enjoy it! And thanks for keeping me entertained! If you want it, come on over: http://www.homemakerspensieve.com/2010/05/29/my-first-award/

    • You are a lovely thing! This is twice in few weeks that this particular little gem has been sent my way.

      I’m feeling a lot like Sally Fields!

  15. liz

    Any positive points you had would be decimated by tuna-on-raisin-bran. I shudder at the thought.

  16. Jb

    Sounds like you need a drink! Pour it over your tuna on raisin bran!

  17. it will get better in the month of june.

  18. May was a funky month for me too. I just couldn’t seem to sustain any kind of momentum, particularly as it related to writing. Maybe we should all do a ‘Fresh Start’ post today…

    • I need to get mom-in-law comfortably on a plane and then I can think fresh start.

      So maybe tomorrow…. (This is, in fact, how I got myself into such a tailspin a few weeks ago…)

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