I cleaned cupboards today.
On vacation! Do I know how to live it up OR WHAT? Admit it. You wish you were me.
Might I suggest that, if you do decide to be me, that you do something about this chin. This chin is an issue.
Things I found in the cupboards: tw0 half-empty boxes of Hanukkah candles, two half empty bottles of Kahlua (not related to the candles), one disemboweled smoke detector, six lid removers, and two packages of little umbrellas.
You know, little cocktail umbrellas.
I think it is telling that normal people would not have any packages of little cocktail umbrellas in their kitchen, yet I have two.
Two unrelated packages. Let me make that clear.
One is in a box of tiki cocktail cards that I received as a birthday gift.
The other is a package leftover from our engagement party, which had a Hawaiian theme.
Because just having a leftover umbrella or two is for wimps.
Are you a REAL WOMAN?
Then stock your damn kitchen in accessories for drinking!
You can do this if you are a real man, too.
But what I really think is important here, your take-away, if you will, is that I am the kind of person who both receives little cocktail umbrellas as gifts AND stocks up on them for parties.
I am way cool.
You should hang out with me.
Cause I serve a kick-ass cocktail.
With little umbrellas.