I don’t think this is progress.

In the bedroom is a chair. The chair is meant for sitting. It has a nicely cushioned seat and back with good support. It is strategically located next to the window to take advantage of the natural light.

This is what it should look like.

Doesn’t that look lovely? Isn’t that inviting? You might notice the throw pillow. You might think that the throw pillow is an impediment to casual seating. You might just get whapped with that throw pillow (or any of the other several thousand that adorn my house) if you thought to make such observations out loud. But you are wise, you can sense a nearly-unhinged person when you see them, and so you keep such thoughts to yourself.

This is what the chair looked like last week:

In my defense, 98% of this laundry is not mine.

I’d like to say that the pink sock under the chair was a plant for the sake of a more interesting photo, but it’s not. It was just lying there, further testement to my utter failure in the laundry folding department. Mocking me. Taunting me. Practically daring me to drown my sorrows in brownies and Kalua. (Oooh…hey…)

This is what the chair looks like now.

Note the furry bundle of evil hiding in the lower corner.

Now you might be tempted to give me credit for the laundry in this tableau being folded. “Five Martha Points!” you say. (And I correct you and say 10 MP’s because I get double points for any folding or ironing. Were you NOT paying attention?) And I’d love you for your allocation of points. I’d be thrilled to think that I was going to get stay in positive numbers. But, truly, it would feel hollow. Empty. Fake. Like a bad Oscar acceptance speech. Because, if I were really earning the points, the laundry wouldn’t be on the damned chair three days after I folded it, would it?


Ok, to the points.

Previous score: +13 points

  • Folded laundry sitting perched on chair in bedroom: -5 points.
  • Stick from TootsiePop stuck to carpet under the desk (this is the cat’s fault, but that hardly matters, does it?): -3 points
  • Garbage in garbage pail becoming whiff-a-licious: -3 points
  • Junk mail tossed in recycling bin and not taking up my cooking space: +2 points
  • Not accidentally cooking junk mail for dinner: +2 points
  • Smoke smudges on backsplash from letting milk boil over onto cooktop while cooking Pasta-Roni last night: -2 points
  • Cooking Pasta-Roni last night: -4 points

Which makes our grand total today……0 points.

I take comfort only in knowing that it could be worse. At least I found the TootsiePop stick without actually stepping on it.


Filed under Domestic Disgrace, Humor

2 Responses to I don’t think this is progress.

  1. Just found your blog – love your point system. You must institute the chocolate points!! One for just thinking of this positive system!

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