Tag Archives: flowers

The Evil Done by Cats

I used to do this feature as part of June Cleaver Nirvana’s Potluck. But potluck season is over, and it meant I had no weekly outlet to complain about the cats. Oh, I worked it in now again so it … Continue reading

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Filed under Fiction

Ways Not to Celebrate

In college we used to say, “It wasn’t a party if no one ended up in the emergency room.” That is because, in college, we were all complete idiots. Sunday, as I mentioned, was our anniversary. I woke up to … Continue reading

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Filed under Humor

This Week in Martha Points

Yes…I’ve been avoiding this. I had other, more fun, less painful things to blog about. You know, like killer bees and how I infiltrated the very top levels of WordPress while wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache. And it was … Continue reading

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Filed under Domestic Goddesshood, Humor

ALERT THE MEDIA

This is unprecedented. In my entire adult life, I have never managed this. I’ve tried. Oh, how I’ve tried. And failed. And other, innocent lives have paid the price. I got an orchid to bloom. Of course, it was blooming … Continue reading

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Filed under Domestic Goddesshood, Humor

How I am like a talking dog.

In total mockery of the challenge that I issued myself in yesterday’s post, more things have accumulated on the desk. The greater irony is that I didn’t even work at the desk today. So I’m fairly confident that my belongings … Continue reading

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Filed under Domestic Disgrace, Humor

The Floral Danger Zone

There are times when I try to ponder the big questions. The why’s, the how’s. The reasons and the rhymes. But as I’m pondering those heady ideas, it’s not uncommon for something less soul-searching-worthy to sneak in. It tiptoes around, … Continue reading

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Filed under Domestic Disgrace, Humor

Please don’t look under the couch cushions.

Ummm…oh, wow…uh, come right in! Just give me a second to wipe this down…oh, don’t sit there, you’ll stick. And if I could just shove…this…out of the way…with my foot….There! Feel free to walk on the carpet now. Can I … Continue reading

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Filed under Domestic Goddesshood, Humor

I am a menace.

I swear…I swear, I promise, I absolutely sincerely insist with my hand on a 5 lb Hershey Bar (with or without almonds) that I did not notice this before I gave myself my generous scoring of points yesterday. The integrity … Continue reading

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Filed under Domestic Disgrace, Humor