I’m not able to write anything sensible as I’ve spent the last three days lying down and all the blood in my body has settled in my butt.
But I did keep a notepad handy so I could write ridiculous, fever-induced thoughts down so you could laugh at them.
So in no particular order:
“Art Deco” sounds like it could be a breakfast cereal. It would have marshmallows and be shaped like little Chrysler Buildings.
Pioneer Woman’s mac and cheese, if made in a really big pan, would make a totally funky bed.
Supermodels have no boobs. This must be why I have never been asked to be a supermodel.
Do I have to throw this glass of ginger-ale away just because the cat drank from it?
I’ve watched enough “Law & Order” that I think I could totally pass the bar in New York state.
Ragu spaghetti sauce is an affront to humanity
Hoda Kotb has weirdly large teeth.
If bugs could talk the world would be a really loud place.
Has Liza Minnelli always had that lisp? I must be the world’s worst speech therapist for never noticing.
My god I want a Slurpee.
Conan O’Brien looks suspiciously like a Keebler elf.
Every time I see footage of the TSA’s new full body scanners I think of the opening of the “Six Million Dollar Man.”
Clearly there is a lot of TV watching when I am sick.
I can’t tell, since I can’t get my fever under 101 and therefore my thinking may be addled, but I think some of this is really deep stuff.
Feel free to expand on my cosmic wisdom.