Disclaimer: There are no points here, there is no discussion of the house or the dumpster. This is a musing (not to be confused with an amusing) post about nothing to do with dust, dirt, the cats or the kids.
There’s a reason this blog exists. An actual sequence of events that led me to the blog.
It starts with, last fall, quitting my job.
I had a director’s position in the hospital where I worked. But I had gone as far as I could go at the hospital, regional positions in the company are rare. And I didn’t think I wanted to go any further with the company, regardless.
So I took a big, gulping breath and resigned my position, trading it for a part-time staff position so I could start my own business.
I don’t talk about the business in the blog for the simple reason that I don’t want the same sort of search string that would bring a potential client to my business website to bring them here where they might confuse my ridiculous rants about my evil cats and sentient laundry with my actual ability to do the things I want them to hire me for. Hence, my full name, serious discussion about the business (the name of my company, what I do, etc.) gets carefully omitted from what I post here.
I figured it would take me 2-3 months to research and implement the infrastucture of the business.
It took me six.
I figured it would take me 1-2 months to actually find business.
I’m at the 1.5 month mark now. So the jury is still out on how wrong I will be there.
It was in this prolongation of developing the infrastructure for the business that the blog was born. I started a blog about starting a business. It turned out that there was far less interesting stuff to say than I thought there would be. Mostly I complained about how I couldn’t keep up with my house. That blog turned into this one, which people did, in fact, seem to be entertained by.
The business, of course, is me doing all the things I know how to do clinically. But it is in an industry that is unknown to me. I have no connections, no network. I’m bringing a clinical activity into the global economy, and although all my research tells me it’s a good fit….it’s new.
Today I am going to my first networking event in this new industry.
I will not know anyone.
I will not have a career in common with anyone.
No one will even have ever heard of what I’m trying to do.
It’s in the middle of the business district in San Francisco. So I don’t even know the geography.
I will be armed only with business cards.
And as I imagine this meeting of people who I don’t know, who are not in the industry I’ve worked in for the past 17 years, who do things very far removed from what I do, I realize that it has been a very, very, very long time since I last experienced not knowing what the hell I was doing.
I have not been afraid – career-wise – for far more than a decade. I went to work in a foreign country and I wasn’t this nervous.
It can never work if I don’t try. If I don’t go to the meeting and force myself to talk, introduce myself and ask intelligent questions, if I don’t call the company that’s never heard of me and have a go at convincing them they need the service that I’m proposing, if I don’t risk getting it all wrong so I can figure out how to do it all right.
It can never work if I don’t give myself permission to be scared, and to make mistakes.
But I hate being scared, and I hate making mistakes even more.
When I forget that I need to breathe, please remind me.