Monthly Archives: October 2010

New Model Wanted

For Sale: One XX-chromosome-series parental unit, well-used. Only one previous owner. Maintenance includes removal of one defective appendix, repair of fractured left front axle and timing belt adjustment. Unit has received several color updates over the years with tints and … Continue reading

22 Comments

Filed under Humor

Mercenary Points

Sometimes… Sometimes… Sometimes we just do things we’re not proud of. We hold ourselves up to certain standards. Tell ourselves that tomorrow, we want to be proud of who we were today. But there are times when circumstances and situations … Continue reading

71 Comments

Filed under Domestic Disgrace

Not Taking this Lying Down

Because if I do, a pumpkin might fall on my head. So I have this… Which serves the two-fold purpose of Halloweening up our house and irritating the cats. And then we have this… A little fruit salad, anyone? And … Continue reading

40 Comments

Filed under Humor

Ask Not-Martha, Your Points Questions Answered

Helllllooooooo lovely readers! (Really, I don’t have to annotate that any more, do I?) Except every time I type that out I want coq au vin. Welcome to this week’s edition of “Ask Not-Martha!” The answer to all your “How … Continue reading

15 Comments

Filed under Point Assignment

Pumpkin Grief

I mentioned last week that my nightmare of a neighbor* (not Backyard Neighbor) lined her roofline with pumpkins and that this was CLEARLY a call to arms. A summons, if you will. Calling me out as surely as if she’d … Continue reading

52 Comments

Filed under Humor, Illustrated Post

Monsters or Marthas?

The following conversation actually took place in my kitchen this evening. Scene: Kitchen, post dinner. Kid clean-up is happening. Backstory: I have asked the kids to please be more thorough in their post dinner clean-up because we’ve been discovering food … Continue reading

44 Comments

Filed under Humor

Raccoons: 1, Lori: 0

We noticed, a little while ago, that there were holes in the lawn. Actually, first we noticed some dead grass and concluded the gardeners just hadn’t quite raked all of it up. Despite never having done that before. Then we … Continue reading

59 Comments

Filed under Humor, Illustrated Post

Oh, It’s On

I drove home from work Tuesday. Tired, ready to relax. Desperately in need of some down time. Which might have involved wine. Possibly. Nothing in a paper bag. Or box. Quit with the judging. I made the final turn into … Continue reading

64 Comments

Filed under Humor

Answers and News

So I’m a filthy liar, am I? Well, yes, fine. I am. I prefer to think of myself as “factually creative.” But am I a good liar? Which tall tales were the lies, and where was the one truth? Is … Continue reading

12 Comments

Filed under Fiction, Humor

Ask Not-Martha, Your Points Questions Answered

Hellloooooo lovely readers! We all remember from last week that that was supposed to be Julia Child, right? Excellent! I do so love when I nail the impersonations. Welcome to this week’s installment of Ask Not-Martha, Your Points Questions Answered. … Continue reading

35 Comments

Filed under Humor