Monthly Archives: June 2010

Points for Self-Restraint?

Last night after reading the post about the Glorious Acquisition of the Ashtray and getting to the part about how I was going to avoid discussing the master bathroom and the point-stealing black-hole that it is, Himself said, “So when … Continue reading

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You know what the garden needs? A casino.

Don’t you just say that all the time? “You know what the yard needs, Madge?” “What, Howard?” “A casino.” “Oooh, that’d be nice. The Bedfords got one last week.” But if you find that the full-fledged, multi-story, kitchily-decorated, slot machine … Continue reading

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The One Where I Don’t Get to Use the Title I Want.

Cause this is a family blog. But the fact that I can’t use the title I really want is killing me. The title I really want will  become evident in a few paragraphs. As will why I can’t use it. … Continue reading

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Filed under Domestic Goddesshood, Humor

Counter Intuitive

Intuition. The right of every one of us who were born with ovaries. As integral as the mammary gland. Women’s intuition. Powerful mojo. Except I don’t have any. I’m not sure why I did not get my rightful allocation. Did … Continue reading

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Shopping for Points

Buying points? You ask. Isn’t that cheating? Isn’t that just throwing money at a problem? How like our consumer-minded, anything-can-be-fixed-with-a-little-retail-therapy, commercial mentality. Instead of actually earning points the way you’re supposed to, going out and just buying them. Lori, you … Continue reading

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The Princess and the Pain

Once upon a time there was a princess. Sort of a princess. She was a little old to be a princess, frankly, and had been married twice so probably had no business even pretending to be a princess but it’s … Continue reading

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Filed under Humor, Illustrated Post

Points for Peace

For restraining myself from grounding Child A until adulthood for letting his English grade slip… For not packaging up two Abyssinian cats in styrofoam packing boxes and mailing them to a random address on the Serengeti… For not throwing my … Continue reading

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The Quest for the Blue Hour

Things like this keep me up at night. This, and the possibility that marauders have invaded suburbia, that the cats will evolvulate opposable thumbs, and that some idiot in marketing will pull the plug on Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. If that last … Continue reading

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Introducing: The Stupid Tax

This is truly an overdue concept. Originally the idea of a friend of mine some years ago, I think it’s time to formalize it. How many times have you been annoyed at people for: Wasting your time? Draining your energy? … Continue reading

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Ways Not to Celebrate

In college we used to say, “It wasn’t a party if no one ended up in the emergency room.” That is because, in college, we were all complete idiots. Sunday, as I mentioned, was our anniversary. I woke up to … Continue reading

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