Category Archives: Humor

Who’s On First, British Version

The scene is a ward of a hospital in Southern England. I am chatting with a friend, another speech therapist who’s from South Africa. She and her roommate are joining us for dinner that evening. She’s asked if she can … Continue reading

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Liquid Motivation

There’s gotta be something right? Something that can help me over the hump? Just a little pick-me-up? Because I admit it. I am motivationless. Laundry? Still unfolded. Cat hair? Still unswept. Hair? Still unstyled. Mascara? Still raccoonesque. Garden? Still amok running. … Continue reading

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The Five Stages of Car Buying

I need a new car. For clarity, you should know that in Lori-speak “new car” never means an automobile with less than 50 miles on it that is being sold in the year it was manufactured. Never. Because amongst my … Continue reading

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New Rules

It’s official. I can’t keep up with my life. My life is racing ahead of me, accruing debt, getting dirty, eating all the food in the house, and I’m straggling many days behind hoping that my direct deposit hits before … Continue reading

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Tasty and SO good for you!

I’ve been awfully excited about this for a while, but, having learned the hard way that there are in fact consequences to counting chickens before they’re all in one basket, I kept it to myself. But the eggs are now … Continue reading

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No Sunroofs on Planes

It is a little known fact that I’m a white-knuckle flyer. That being said – I fly a lot. I’m mostly fine. Nothing a few screwdrivers in the airport or a Xanax can’t fix. Except I never actually have either … Continue reading

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Proctor and Gamble Owes Me $4000

And I want payment in towels. I have three teenagers. Because of the four year spread in my kids’ ages, this means that the Teenage Era is from 2005 through 2016. There are Asian dynasties that came and went faster … Continue reading

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My Particular Species

There are so many… The Northern Lace-Crested B-Cuppers The Great Plains Domesticus Flaticus The Boom-Boom Chakalakas The Double-D Dippers The Maidenform Warbler The Horned Silicon Plunger The Red-Cheeked Bishop Teasers The Transvaal Massive Marvels The Lesser Western Areoli And my … Continue reading

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Wanted: New Fairy, Wings A Plus. No Smokers.

It’s been a while. The last tooth I lost was a failed root canal in an upper molar. The tooth came out in pieces and I would have been far too embarrassed to offer it up for coinage. Plus, the … Continue reading

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Mothers Unite!

AP Washington DC – They say that an oppressed group who organizes is a dangerous thing. Don’t ask us who “they” are. Surely somebody sometime said something like that. And today a portion of the population that has never taken … Continue reading

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